I'm re-learning Secure Attachment through God.
You ever find yourself clinging too hard in relationships (anxious attachment) or pulling away when things get too close (avoidant attachment)? Maybe you’re constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, believing love is temporary, conditional, or just plain unsafe.
The good news? God didn’t design love to feel like this.
Let’s be real—most of us didn’t grow up with a perfect model of love. Whether it was emotional neglect, inconsistent affection, or straight-up abandonment, our early experiences shape how we do relationships today.
Healing attachment wounds isn’t just therapy talk—it’s also spiritual.
I’m reminded every day on my walk that God is the only truly secure attachment, and as we rewire our nervous system to receive that love, our human relationships change, too. TEA!!!!!!!!
1. God as the Ultimate Secure Base
In attachment theory, a secure bond forms when someone is present, attuned, and consistent—and that’s exactly how God relates to us.
📖 “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)
📖 “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.” (Psalm 27:10)
Granted, most of us never had this kind of security growing up so our nervous system doesn’t automatically trust it. We might know God’s love is unconditional, but deep down, we still fear abandonment, rejection, or not being enough.
If your body is still running on old programming, it’s not your fault—but it is a responsibility to heal. *cue in somatic coaching*
Somatic coaching is a holistic approach to personal development that integrates the body, mind, and spirit, focusing on accessing the body's wisdom and intelligence to facilitate growth, transformation, and healing through embodied experiences and techniques.
2. pssssst! Jesus Modeled Secure Attachment
Before I dive in to this I’d like to share that I had plenty of *opinions* about Jesus before I actually got to know Him —so if you’re reading this like “mango??????” … I get it.
But I invite you to stay curious :)
I started reading the New Testament just to get a sense of who He really was, and let me tell you—I folded. I wept for days. He is literally love in human form. Like, incredibly humbling and inspiring.
I’ll circle back to that soon. Meanwhile,
Jesus wasn’t out here love-bombing people and ghosting them later. He stayed, loved deeply, and set boundaries without being codependent or distant.
He was attuned – He wept with Mary and Martha (John 11:35).
He had boundaries – He withdrew to pray, even when people needed Him (Mark 1:35).
He embraced closeness – John literally laid on His chest at the Last Supper (John 13:25).
He didn’t fear rejection – He still loved Peter, even after being denied three times (John 21:15-17).
Jesus didn’t push love away or chase it desperately—He embodied secure, steady, covenantal love. Key word: embodied !!!!
When we root our sense of safety in God’s unwavering love, we stop grasping for reassurance in places that can’t sustain us. His love is constant, steadfast, and unshakable—teaching us that we are already held, already known, already cherished.
Learning secure attachment through God isn’t about striving; it’s about trusting. The more we lean into His presence, the more we realize we were never meant to hold it all together on our own.
Q’s to ponder on:
- Are your relationships driven by fear or trust?
- Do you actually believe God’s love is steady—or are you lowkey expecting Him to bounce when you mess up?
Until next shape,
Mango/Kat𓍯𓂃𓏧♡
ᝰ.ᐟWhat’s Alive:
Currently listening: Freshly Squeezed Jazz, Afro & Latin House with Shaqdi
Currently drinking: Stumptown Pour Over
Currently reading: How To Tell The Truth by Preston Perry
Currently learning: the acoustic guitar! am on a social media detox rn and feeling inspired to revisit hobbies :)
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PO BOX 403595
Miami Beach, FL 33140
here2behuman.com
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